The Adventures of Golden A.S.S.

The Adventures of Golden A.S.S. Ep 2 Beginnings….

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The Adventures of Golden A.S.S

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. Ep 2 Beginnings…..

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The Adventures of Golden A.S.S. Issue 2, Beginnings….

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My second issue comes out on Monday!!!!!!  

So excited!!!!!!

My past has closure….

So against my better judgment and some OMG to Plums and Mrs. Fine, I texted back to Irish Boy(http://goldenassadventures.tumblr.com/post/98475506684/this-morning-i-received-a-text-message-from) …  I knew it was going to open a can of worms but I had to, well at least I thought I had to…. You know when you have that nagging nag at the back of your mind, that won’t let you go, that’s kind of how I felt about IB.  Plus I needed to get my closure, which I did!

My text was simple: Hey, I’m doing great.  Glad to hear you moved to Philly.  You’ve been wanting to go back.  Good luck there.

I knew I was going to get a response.

IB:  What’s your deal?  Are you seeing someone

I took my time with my text:  Yes I am in a relationship

I really didn’t want to tell him… He didn’t deserve to know, but then it’s better to put the dick out of his misery, especially since I did finally respond. 

IB: Grat to hear.  Be safe

Grat?  Think he missed the “e”.  Be safe?  What does that mean, be safe?  Totally irritated me.  He really knows how to get under my skin…. And not in the good way, anymore!  Instead of saying what does that mean, be safe, I took the high road and said:

I always am.  I hope you are happy and enjoy your life in Philly

Now the next few responses from him, summed up our “relationship” and why I’m so happy I finally let him go. 

He said that if my situation ever changed let him know and whenever I’m in Philly to call him, only if my situation changed.  He was sorry for being retarded and he didn’t realize the catch he had.

No kidding!  He had 4 years of my life to figure it out and he didn’t until I was gone… Which of course I told him not before I let him know that I published my comic book (http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Golden-S-S-Begin-Book-ebook/dp/B00L1M0DFS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1411792881&sr=8-2&keywords=the+adventures+of+golden+a.s.s.).  I told him about the comic book because not only is he going to be a villain in it, he was always encouraging of the book and I want more people to buy it!  A shameless plug, regardless of where it comes from! 

He said congrats for my book, he was happy for me and that I found someone to keep around. 

Yea I found someone who realized right away how incredible I am and didn’t want to let me go.  That’s a guy you fall in love with and build a future together.  Not a guy who when he’s not available, away on job sites, text messages you non stop to say how much he misses you and wants to be with you but when he comes home, goes radio silent.  And then blames his job for not communicating…

Well when I told him about the comic book, of course I told him the name and where to buy it, (Amazon), I thought he would go to amazon and get it….  Little did I think he would google it and come to my website… And on the website go to my blog… Where he read my last entry…

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. About him….

He read it… He thought it was “interesting”… He liked it and appreciated the fact that I didn’t use his name and then said he was sorry for bothering me and it wouldn’t happen again….

I told him that if I hadn’t met the man I’m with now, he still probably wouldn’t realize what he had.  You want what you can’t have….

He said he deleted my number.  He had no idea I didn’t want him to contact me and he’s sorry for interrupting my day. 

I tried to back track about my blog.  Down play the severity of what I had written, I don’t know why.  I didn’t want him to feel bad but then I thought, GOOD!  I’m glad he read it.  I’m glad he knows that’s how I feel.  I was trying to be diplomatic about the whole thing via text message but I really wanted to give it to him for wasting my time all these years and not realizing what was right in front of him.  Now that I think about it, he saw me, used me, abused me and knew but didn’t truly want and/or wasn’t ready.  Although, moving to Philly and then reaching out to me, what did he think, I would hop on a plane and fly there?!?! I may have driven uninvited when he lived close, but a plane ride is something different. 

I ended it with : I wish you the best and hope that next time a girl comes into your life, you realize her greatness before you lose her

I thought that would be it but he said he heard me loud and clear… He deleted my number and I wouldn’t hear from him but he’d be reading my blog….

So if he truly is reading this, then I leave him with this, since I never responded:

I deleted your number when you invited me to London last year(http://goldenassadventures.tumblr.com/post/64966778802/my-irritating-itch-got-the-better-of-me-and-i)  and I said yes, then you went MIA on me for the last time!  I hope you do finally leave me alone because I don’t want to waste another moment of my life regretting having met you. I’m with someone who is incredible.  And if by some disastrous occurrence that forces him and I, to no longer be together, I will NEVER contact you.  I deserved so much better than you ever gave me.  You may have a big dick but you should really learn how to use it better and I faked pretty much all of my orgasms. 

GA

A year ago today…..

I met Mediocre Guy ….. A year ago today, I met the man who would change my world… A year ago today, I met my partner… Who knew that a year ago, my life would be where it is at this current adventure!

It’s a bit unnerving to looking back and see how I came to this place. All the crap that I put up with and all the crap that I spewed….

If I hadn’t met MG, I think, I would still be on the same path, of mindlessly going through the boys

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always Walking one mile in 20 minutes.

. Hooking up with those less deserving and still allowing myself to get sucked into the bullshit of Irish boy…

Sometimes I wonder about those adventures that I am no longer going on. I think about the allure of being single and wonder…. Especially since I’m on the year mark…

BUT

Then I reach deep down into my gut and know that MG is by far the greatest guy for me at this moment. I would love to say FOREVER but who knows what forever is and how long that truly last….

People grow and change at different stages of their lives. MG is perfect for my stage now. I want to say he will always be perfect and I hope that we do last forever but a part of me is being realistic. Unless you find a partner that wants to grow and change with you and you can find ways to keep falling back in love with each other, it’s difficult to last for that forever….

I want MG to be that partner. I feel that we are on that grow and change path together. But I also don’t want to jinx it by saying we are forever.

It’s only been a year. We are completely comfortable and at ease with each other. I want to say we are ourselves and for the most part we are ourselves. So time will tell if we are forever…

A year ago today…..

Time Flies when you are……

Complacent in your life….  I have been a horrible writer of late!  It has been well over a month since my last posting.

I’M SORRY!!!!!!!

It’s amazing how fast the days go by when you fall into a routine and that routine doesn’t involve the internet…..

In a way, it’s a good thing.  I’m off living, enjoying life, going on adventures and creating memories… But on the other hand, a small part of me, feels the need to write it all down and tell the world!

I think the reason why I have been so lax in writing and telling, is because MG, is not a big fan of revealing all to the world.  I mean, he doesn’t even have a Facebook account!!!!!  Which is really nice to tell you the truth. 

I find myself, checking in less and less.  Posting pictures less and less because do I really care what people think of what I am doing?!?!  Not really! And if the only way my “friends” know what I’m doing is by me posting on FB, then perhaps they aren’t really that great of friends that they can’t pick up the phone and actually ask me how I am doing……  And vice versa! 

Although there are moments when I’m off on an adventure and I think, Oh I know the perfect headline to write and the words start to flow in my head of all the things I want to tell…. And then when the adventure is over, I let it linger in my head and it never gets written down…. Majority of it has to do with laziness…. 

I have a sense of laziness…

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. Perhaps it’s due to my contentness in life, of where I am at this point of my journey and how I am enjoying every moment without the pressure of having to write every detail.  The downside of not writing, is you forget faster and the joy of coming across a written adventure is lost. 

So, like exercise, I must make a point to write.  At least once a week.  To keep abreast of my adventure. 

Plus, we’re coming up on my 1 year since I met MG!!!!!!!  A year goes by in a blink of an eye……

Happy Easter!!!!

With Easter comes some blasts from the past… 

I received a texted message from Irish Boy! 

Oh we remember Irish Boy don’t we?  The last time we heard from IB was New years….  

I was shocked.  I actually didn’t even recognize the number.  It took me a moment to realize who sent me:

Hello Ms. GA

Wanted to say happy easter and i hope your all good.

Hope you, your folks and your family is well.

Yea……  After reading that message, I laughed!  It made me smile because I recalled a time when IB would tell me that I would always come back to him, even after not talking for months.  Guess the shoe is on the other foot now… Seems he’s the one that keeps coming back to me, even though I want nothing to do with him!

So that’s what, 4 ½ months of nothing from him and he reappears.  Although, I’m not doing anything…

At first I contemplating about texting back saying, “Who’s this?”  But then I realized, why?  

Why open that door?  What would be the reason to let that asshole back into my life?  and the answer would be NO reason.  No way would I open that door.  

Unless I want drama… Which let’s be honest, almost everyone needs a little drama/excitement in their lives… Yet, I don’t want this kind of drama. 

I spent 4 years of my life, wasting away on IB drama….

And I finally got over him and let an amazing MAN into my life…

I would be STUPID and an IDIOT and not deserving of anything if I screw up my relationship with MG by letting IB back into my life.

NO way!!!!  IB can wallow and regret all his decisions and wonder where I am…. 

I’m in the BEST relationship of my life!!!!!  

Now do I tell MG about the text message?  Or just let it go…

Because the last time I told MG about a blasted past, my guy friend from Denver, my Denver Boyfriend, who texted to say he missed me and wanted me to visit in Denver and I told him I was in a relationship…

MG wasn’t too thrilled and asked why I would tell him about Denver. I thought it was a funny story to tell and didn’t want to keep things from him

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But then again perhaps keeping this one little text message would be best left unmentioned… Especially since we are doing nothing with that text message…..

Drowning in a Sea of Overwhelmingness…..

For the past 3 years I have been working towards one goal, to create a comic book. These last few months, that goal is slowly becoming a reality and as the moment comes for me to send off my creation to be published, I’m feeling very overwhelmed.

It feels as though, creating the book was the easy part. Now comes the daunting task of actually putting it out there. To self publish or try and get signed… To obtaining all copy rights and trademarks. To buying ISBNs and getting bar codes. To advertising and promoting

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. Doing press releases and just basically selling my story.

I thought I had help, someone who would be there for me, when I had questions, concerns and just guidance, since that someone is heavily in the world of comic books. BUT that someone has disappeared and seems as though they don’t want to help me at all… Which means, I’m all alone…

Deep breath….

This morning, I’m trying to figure out if, in fact, I have a comic book or a graphic novel. If it is a comic book, then I don’t need an ISBN BUT if it’s a graphic novel, I do…. There is a difference?

I feel lost… But I guess that’s what happens when you decided to enter a world you have no experience in whatsoever.

There are many online guidelines out there that give you a set of instructions on what to do. They are useful. They give you a glimpse of what needs to be done. I just wish someone else would take my project and do all that work!!!

But in the end, I just have to take lots of deep breaths, focus and slowly chip away at what needs to be accomplished because as I’ve been telling all my friends, this project, it’s my hobby and when I’m 80 years old, I’ll look back and say, I created something and that’s not too shabby….

Doubts….

The other night I was laying in MG’s arms and I had a dreadful thought, that perhaps we weren’t meant to be laying in each other’s arms, cuddling, falling asleep so comfortably….  That maybe even though we are in love it’s not going to last… 

Are you suppose to doubt???  Are things suppose to be sooo comfortable and easy that worry is not a feeling anymore???  Should you feel troubled while laying in their arms???  Is this all part of the process of being in the first stages of a relationship???

Deep down I know he could possibly be the one for me… I’m scared…

Is that why I’m feeling these doubts???  Am I trying to sabotage myself mentally??? 

Last night he dropped the bomb on the fact he can not/ will not/ would not support me in my endeavors with my comic book…  I was/am hurt by this revealing fact.  He states that he can’t support something that involves my past lovers.  He doesn’t want to know anything about the guys. I understand that to a point but his stupid past has poked her head into our relationship several times so far…  

But in a relationship, shouldn’t you always support the other even if you don’t always agree with what it may be? 

I have been working so hard on my comic book for years.  It’s on the last leg and the first issue will soon be published.  I want the man who says I’m the love of his life to be there, proud of my accomplishments and there to support me if it doesn’t succeed but when he tells me he will never support my comic book, it gives me a gigantic pause in the future of our relationship… 

If he can’t support me in this endeavor, what else won’t he support me in?  What if my comic book turns out to be a great success, will he sit at home, pouting and not go out to celebrate it because it just happens to involved loosely some of my past?  And what if, it fails miserably and I need someone to console my emotions, will he be there with open arms and try to convince me to keep going because it’s my passion, when he in fact could care less of my book?

Can a relationship survive if one of the significant other doesn’t support?

Tonight I have to myself….  I’m going to contemplate lots of things

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.  Working on things and figure out the best way to brooch the subject of support to MG when I see him tomorrow night…