“I wear my sunglasses are night…” Actually I’m wearing my sunglasses as I write this blog because my apartment seems a bit too bright at the moment and I can’t remember where I put my glasses after last night’s adventure!
Last night’s adventure… It started with a few glasses of wine at Jazzy’s place. Then her girl T, (who I’ll have to come up with a great nick name for because I have a feeling that T will start going on amazing adventures with me!) drove us to our destination, SEX TOY PARTY!
We were greeted at the door with BLUE BALLS cupcakes and PENIS STRAWS! Oh it’s going to be that kind of night…
We were all treated to HAND JOBS. The SEX TOY consultant massaged one of our hands with their moisturizing scrub. My other hand felt very left out… But luckily there were plenty of other products to treat both hands!
We massaged, smelled and licked many different enhancing products. My nipples felt sensations by their tingling balm, although my lips reacted more to the tingling balm… Perhaps my nipples knows the difference between a real man’s attentions versus a man-made product…
There was this G-spot cream that supposedly helps woman reach that ultimate G-spot orgasm with a squirt, I snuck a pump and went straight to the bathroom… It lasts up to 17 hours and can only be activated when aroused…
We rolled on pheromone enhancements. I think it enhanced my smell of soap. Later I tested out if the pheromone enhancement actually attracts the male species…
I think I might be a bit of a prude, or maybe just conservative because although the toys were fun to “play” with and feel the vibrations, I think the toys ruin the actually pleasure of sex…
Let me explain:
Since I’m single, I’m extremely horny. I have a very trusty vibrator. It’s nothing earth shattering but it definitely hits the spot and keeps my desires mostly at bay. I feel that if I invested in any of the toys, that guarantee ultimate satisfaction, I would constantly be comparing the guys’ ability to get me to climax with my many toys… It would probably frustrate me if they weren’t hitting the spots instantly like my toys can! I mean guys sometimes have difficulty in the first place… Perhaps my thinking is a bit backwards.
Now if I were in a relationship and needed to spice up the bedroom, sure the toys would be fun! In fact I think it’s a must in a long term relationship. But until I find myself in a relationship, I’ll keep the toys at the parties…
After the party, we found ourselves at one of my old stomping grounds. Of course there was a long line to get in but me, being me, walked right past the line and went straight up to the door. The line guy kept yelling at me that I couldn’t walk there but I ignored him. How dare he say I can’t walk to the door! Luckily my favorite door guy was working and let me in immediately! Take that stupid line guy….
The place was packed with the usually tools and hoes (I say that in the “nicest” way possible!).
There was a bachelor party that cornered us. I don’t know about you but if it was my bachelor party, I would not be having it there! That party group was filled with exceptionally great tools… I excused myself to do a loop around and ended up spending the rest of my night talking to a MARRIED MAN!
Of course the one decent, attractive guy in the entire bar is MARRIED!!! Just my luck…
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. Why did I stay talking to him, knowing that it was never going to go anywhere? I actually enjoyed our conversation. It felt great not having to put any false charms on, or worry if I was going to say the wrong thing because he is married and I was not going to sleep with him.
I did ask him to smell me… He said I smelled like penis… Cock… Semen… GREAT! Even my pheromones execute male sex… Perhaps that’s because it’s all I think about???? Or was it because I was carrying around my PENIS STRAW and he picked up that I was thinking about COCKS????
Married man did buy me a drink, he said it was the least he could do since I was wasting my time talking to him instead of finding a single guy… Little did he know that there was no one else in the bar that I wanted to talk too and if there was any one cute, I would have ditched him with my drink in hand!
Jazzy and T had to drag me away in the end. Probably a good thing since the room was starting to slightly spin… Married man and I did NOT exchange numbers, although I did tell him to look for my fan page on facebook! (Shameless plug??? Most definitely!)
I ended up worshipping Jazzy’s porcelain goddess several times before I insisted on worshiping my own porcelain goddess…
Now how to get my car back from Jazzy’s…..