Lately I have been twatting/twittering(?) about becoming anorexic. Now I have to explain the reasoning of why I joke about it. About a month ago, my mom decided she wanted to go on a cruise to Italy. Naturally I volunteered to “tag” along… 11 days on a cruise touring Italy, Greece, Turkey, Egypt and then 5 days exploring Rome!!!! YES!!!!!! Hello European boys…..
WAIT! 2 weeks with a mother who thinks unless you’re Kate Moss thin, you’re fat!!! AND we would be on a cruise for 11 days! Endless buffets, stuffing your face to your hearts content, flirting with the captain, drinking bottomless pits of alcohol and THEN ITALIAN FOOD!!!!!
I knew that I would gain gazzillion of pounds on the cruise, so how do I off set all the gainage???? Start immediately starving myself to be Kate Moss thin, anorexic like!!!!!
Now I know I could just start to exercise and do more portion control but my will power is weak but even the thought of not eating for another month before the cruise, I’m stuffing my face with pistachio nuts! I really don’t know how people starve themselves! I get cranky, irritable and damn right mean if I don’t eat!
Anorexia really isn’t anything to joke about because people do suffer from this horrible mental disease, but if you can’t make light of a certain situation then what fun, is life????
So I joke that I want to become anorexic for my trip so that way I can stuff my face on the cruise and come back not really having to “diet”! Put in the hard work now and be lazy afterwards….
Last Monday, Boobs and I went to a Bridal Show. Boy were women plain pushy when “free” samples were being handed out. How free are those samples when you have to pay to get in! Luckily, Boobs won free tickets to the show, so indeed those samples were free!!!!
I signed up for EVERYTHING
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. I entered EVERY raffle. True I’m not getting married and have yet to meet my prince but that doesn’t mean that I won’t and I do need to book things in advance….
Well, I did not win anything, except for a “free” nutritional consultation. I figure since I’m trying to lose as much weight as possible, why not go in for a consultation.
The nutritional office was situated between Jerry’s world famous Deli and Dominic’s bar! Hmmm… Are they trying to “cash” in on those people that eat/drink too much at those places????
I knew that going to the office, I would be persuaded to join in on their program. I had to keep remembering not to be gullible and save my money. The doctor definitely tried to persuade me to join her in a food awareness lifestyle. She kept saying it wasn’t a diet, it was an understanding of food. Which let’s be honest every one should be aware of what they are putting in their body.
But as I sat their listening to her about how to change my lifestyle, I realized, I couldn’t take advice from a person who was slightly over weight and her jeans did not cover the muffin top that was spilling over.
I’m sorry but if you are trying to convince people to change their eating habits, shouldn’t you have an amazing body to show for this new lifestyle you are preaching???
I thanked her for giving me “consultation” and said I would think about joining their program.
They honestly wanted me to shell out $1000 to lose basically 10lbs! That’s like $100 a pound! Frankly, I’d rather just starve and save $1000 then give it to them!
With that I’ll stick to my plan to become “anorexic”…