Have you ever known someone that wanted everything you had/wanted… Someone that copied you just enough that it wasn’t creepy, single white female type… Someone who projected their insecurities and their jealousy onto you… Someone who in a heart beat would stab you in the back to get what they wanted…
Well this edition of Thursday Cheater isn’t about a boy, it’s about someone that I have known my entire life, my sister.
I come from a very large family
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. 6 to be exact. 2 boys, 4 girls. Majority of us are pretty spread apart in age. This particular sister and I are actually close in age, so obviously we spent lots of time together.
Growing up I never noticed her insecurities, her lack of confidence, her jealousy, her imitating ways until one day her true colors came out.
Many, many moons ago, I liked a boy. He was from France. I use to vacation in Paris during the summers.
The family decided to spend one New Years in Paris. I thought, PERFECT! Here is my chance to have a little fling with him. I was nervous because I didn’t know how to go about it.
Many nights, my sister, best friend and I would stay up devising a plan to get me alone with him and I could make my feelings known.
New Years hit, the clock struck and it would have been my opportunity to actually kiss him, but I chickened out! I couldn’t go through with it. Something held me back. Let’s just say, if it happened now, I would not have hesistated. But I was naive and innocent back then…
No kiss happened. We all went back to a friend’s flat to continue the party and dance the night away. When it came down to sleeping, we all crashed on our friend’s couches. At first my crush and I were on a couch together, my sister on another one. She got up to go to the bathroom and he went to the vacant couch.
I’m pretty sure I passed out because when I woke up, I saw them laying on the couch together, VERY cuddly, VERY intimate!!!!
HELLO!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
Now, no they didn’t have sex right then and there, but the fact that they shared this initmate moment made me VERY MAD and EXTREMELY HURT by my sister.
WHY when she came back from the bathroom, didn’t she come to lay next to me on the couch but go lay down next to him. That is a HUGE NO NO!!!! You don’t go lay down next to the guy that your sister was crushing on. No friend would do that!
When I saw them, cuddling and whatnot, I actually said, WHAT THE FUCK! and stormed out the room. My sister came down to the apartment about an hour later. AN HOUR! What they did in that hour, I’m not sure, but I definitely would not have waited an hour to chase down my sister if I had done something like that!
Ok from the outside looking in, it would seem very innocent, seeing two people cuddling on the couch, holding hands, being intimate without actually being intimate. BUT if the girl who was in the cuddling hold, knew that her sister had a crush on the other cuddle hold, why in the world would she even be laying there in the cuddle hold in the first place?!?!?! AND if the two sisters spent nights, staying up talking about said crush, trying to come up with a plan of action, would the cuddle hold sister, not say, “ummm I’m sorry sis, but I think I might like him too…"
I’m pretty sure if my sister had even hinted of some sort of feelings for him, I would have been mature enough to say, well if he likes you then go for it! I was moving to Australia for the year and only wanted to have a fling with the boy… BUT no words were ever spoken.
Instead, she basically threw their new budding romance in my face for the rest of the vacation. She invited him to family dinners, holding his hands. Kissing him and hugging him every chance she could!!! Never once did she speak to me, never did she pull me aside and say, I’m sorry Gwen, I never meant for this to happen but I have feelings for him and he has feelings for me.
It wasn’t until a month after our return from Paris that we finally had a full blown shout out match. I, in the entire month, ignored her and pretended she didn’t exist, which was difficult because we shared a room. She finally couldn’t take it and wanted to have it out, especially since I was leaving for a year.
She finally apologized, saying she never meant to hurt but she couldn’t help it. Oh yea right! You can’t help who you fall for but you certainly can make different choices when those feelings effect those around you.
I decided to "forgive” her because she was my sister but I was very leery about trusting her again.
When I moved to Australia, I started to look back at my sister’s past behavior and came across another boy, from High School, whom she knew as well… At the time I didn’t think it was odd that she was hanging out with him, but the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that she only started seeing him when she realized I liked him. What girl watches 9 ½ weeks with a guy “friend”…
More and more I started to realize that my sister didn’t actually have a mind of her own. She did everything I did. She bought clothes and shoes that I was waiting to buy. She was a true mimicker. It was as though she had the middle child syndrome and couldn’t figure out who she really was, but tried to take on her sisters’ personality.
When I came back from Australia, I was cautious around my sister, but she was my sister and old habits are difficult to die. We would hang out but I did keep my distance. I made sure, none of the guys I was interested in ever came over.
A few years after the New Years incident, my sister and the french guy broke up. To mend her broken heart, she decided to go to Thailand on a “research” program. But secretly I knew she was going there for the 6 months to basically lounge out on the beaches and be free of all responsibilities. Not that she actually had any responsibilities, she lived at home and never really had a real job.
A month into her program, she quit it, claiming the research program was nothing she had previously thought it was to be. Instead of coming home, she opted to stay the remainder of the time, since she already paid to be there. Fair enough. If I had paid for a “research” program, I would stay the whole time as well…
The 6 months were up and she decided to stay longer. 2 years longer, partying and slutting her way through Thailand, on my mom’s dime… I wish I could have done that! Wish I didn’t have any sense of responsibility, had a lack of guilt, didn’t care of my direction.
Finally my parents told her, they weren’t sending her any more money and she had to come home. Her response, ok but first I have to go to these other countries and could you send me more money…. WOW at 28 years old, she really knew how to work my parents. They of course said ok and sent her 4 more months worth of money…
While she was in Thailand, finding “herself”… I acquired a boyfriend, the famous EX.
I had warned him about her. Prepared him for her return… Also preparing myself, unsure how she would act, what she would do, knowing that this guy was my BOYFRIEND, not a crush…
Well it didn’t take long before she started to put her moves on him!
One day while I was at work, the EX was home, alone with her, I get a text message from him asking me about a computer program. I thought it was strange, since he was not computer savvy and why would he be asking me???
When I returned home, I found the house empty! I knew my EX went to buy me dinner, but I was at least expecting my sister to be home.
I go to open the door and there they are, my EX had a very unsure look on his face and sister dearest had THE BIGGEST GRIN on her face… The look of happy guilt!
He assured me that nothing happened. He was taking a nap when she came into the room, almost like she was waiting for him to wake up. She sat on my bed and started asking him stupid questions, one of them being about music downloading programs for the computer. Thus his text message to me. EXCUSE ME but what was she doing even coming near my EX, coming into my BEDROOM, SITTING ON MY BED, while he was IN IT….
He said she had asked to go with him buy dinner, and while driving she bemoaned how she wished she and I were closer. That she had so many things she wanted to tell me, so many things she wished I had experienced with her (sleeping with various STD infested guys and getting high off of drugs). Why the hell was she telling my EX all these things???? To try and persuade my EX to take her side????
Oh NO SHE DIDN’T!!!!! The shit hit the fan… I told her to stay the hell away from him, and especially away from me because I did not trust her, did not care for her and certainly didn’t want her in my life knowing her “history” of how she was around guys I liked… She didn’t try to be alone with my EX again.
After my EX and I broke up, my relationship with my sister never truly altered. I still didn’t trust her, kept her at arms length but it was difficult because we started to work together…
TO BE CONTINUED…