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I found out the reasoning behind my first ex reaching out and contacting me after all these years. As previously written, he told me of a marriage that lasted for 5 months but turns out that it probably just ended because in his most recent message to me, he is asking what I honestly think of him because he is doing some soul searching.
It makes sense. Usually after a major break up, you seek out people that once loved you, searching for answers to questions that plague you. And wouldn’t the best person to answer you, those soul searching questions be the girl that gave you her virginity…
My first said he was finally going to college but decided to take a little break to find himself and would hopefully pick up again over the summer. I told him while we were together that he needed to get an education. He needed direction because he seemed lost. Even though he was an “Olympian” he didn’t have the discipline like most athletes or the drive. I always knew that he needed a good kick in the ass and it seems it finally happened to him after all these years. And if I had a trust fund that came into affect after I graduated college, I would get my fucking degree!!!!
I look back and I’m trying to figure out why I did fall in love with him. I guess it was the atmosphere, who doesn’t fall in love while in Maui… It was also the way he made me feel. I was treated like a princess. Like I was the most important person in his life and he would do anything and be anything for me. Unfortunately he didn’t and couldn’t be all.
How do I respond? I don’t know him anymore. We are completely different people from who we were when we lived in Maui. Should I tell him I always knew he needed to grow up? That he needs to be alone for a long time. He always was with someone. Even when I first met him in Maui, he was with someone but dumped her to be with me. I don’t feel guilty for she was a good 30 years older then him, definitely a cougar, sugar mama kind of deal….
But what else do I tell him. He wants me to be honest and really tell him what I think of him, but truthfully I don’t think of him. I haven’t thought of him in years and even then it wasn’t for soul searching reasonings… More for awww remember my first time kind of deal!
This is going to be a tough one. He wants honesty, I’m always honest and he isn’t going to like what I have to say because I don’t have anything to say. I don’t know who he is, I don’t know the boy he has become. He is no man yet… I could tell him, he needs to take more English classes because his grammar and spelling are appalling! He should probably invest in a dictionary… Or use spell check at least!
Sigh… I can’t think of him right now or my response. I have to get ready to become a vixen…