I didn’t have time to post these yesterday so here they are today! My friend really out did himself with some of his responses…
Hey u …I’m glad I ran into your page.. U r very attractive..which im sure u hear often lol I wud love to get to know more about u if ur up for it 🙂 I’m Eric …..hope to hear from u soon cutie 🙂
-Hi Eric, You are missing way too many letters for me to be able to read your message. I was able to figure out your name and the words attractive and cutie but beyond that I’m lost. Please try again.
How are you? How is your weekend going so far?
What nationality are you? I’m Korean, Irish, and German.
Have a great day!
-Hi! I’m actually not doing so well. My weekend was horrible. I just started Chemotherapy and the Diarrhea is unbearable. But enough about that. I’m Vietnamese and more Vietnamese. Ugh…. bathroom calls again. Bye!
-(Waving Hi) PAUSE
YOU ARE THE TRUE DEFINITION OF A GORGEOUS WOMAN!!!
HOW IS YOUR DAY SO FAR?
-Please, just hang with me for a second here. Imagine someone that sees you from across the room and then starts rushing up to you waving hi and screaming in your face with wild, crazy eyes. What is your first thought? Would you assume the person is on PCP? Possibly Retarded? What if they then aske you out (can you still scream and ask at the same time??) on a date. If you have a substance abuse problem or you live in a group home for mentally impaired adults then please forgive the tone of my email (jingles keys in front of your face to make you feel better). Otherwise learn how to not appear to be a cracked out retard on the internet.
-Wow, you’ve got an amazing smile! 🙂
-Wow, by the looks of your smile you have really black eyes and Jaundice. You might want to get that checked out.
-Hey what’s going on? Your smile caught my attention. How was your weekend?
(ps he sent this to me 2x in a span of 10 minutes!)
-My weekend was horrible, my father the former leader of Libya was deposed and I’m looking for a place to hide $200,000,000. you seem like a very trustworthy person. I will give you 10% of the sum if you will kindly forward me your social security number, bank account number and routing number.
-This guy’s subject line went “haven’t we met LOL”
Had you thinking!!! Lol
I wanna meet you though and see if you’re the one I’ve been missing this entire time! lol
I kid around alot! So a sense of humor is highly desirable. I enjoy having a good time and alot of laughs.
You seem great!!!
I think those three words should sum it up!
Like i said i wanna meet you and just see where things go!
I want to eventually get married, but that’s not till later later. lol
With that being said, I’m gonna take you serious!
The last thing i wanna do is waste your time.
I never see you on here, so hopefully you get this message!
I saved you as a favorite hopefully to reach you!
This was the only time i had to write you, and do know I’m interested in you. So hopefully you can write back.
-Do you really laugh out loud at the end of ever sentence? If not then I don’t think lying and misrepresenting yourself to me on our first encounter was a very good idea. If you do then GREAT! Let’s go out on a date! I expect you to laugh the ENTIRE time to prove to me that you’re not just faking your interesting personality.
oh and lol
if you are looking ro be swept away I suggest jumping into the ocean during a storm. I am sure the undertow would help you out
sorry that was too dark
-Ohhh how romantic! I hope you have a horrible Christmas. If I had a squirt gun full of AIDS and Cancer I’d spray your whole family in the eyes. I’m going to make you eat my nightmares
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And if you get offend by these responses just know that NO I did not send them but sometimes I wish I would!
Oh and let’s throw this one in too, it’s from my romantic suitor Bijiniisee who sent these messages:
ur hot, ur sexy, ur self employed…but whatever. i’m over it
we coulda been bf /gf by now
don’t be so insecure! its within the realm of possibility that i could actually like u 🙂 ur cute and have a little personality. thats a solid start
Yup this is what I have been dealing with!